Surviving: Part 3

seven years of sadness
seven years of tears
seven years of bloodshed
seven years of fear

hold on to the happy times
the months, the weeks, the days
hold on to the hidden smiles
know that it will be OK

my mind is like a battlefield
the pen, it is my sword
I've fought this war with blood before
but now I fight with words

I try so hard my fingers bleed
my wrists are crimson, too
I hold onto the dying light
I see it inside you

my mirror is my enemy
so are my tear-streaked cheeks
I've called on new recruits
but it seems they are too weak

another battle in this war
I'm fighting it tonight
each battle I have won thus far
but nothing seems alright

another day of sadness
another day of tears
another day of bloodshed
the war will end right here

I'm saving my last goodbye for you
walking alone here
crying my silent tears
wishing you the pain that i own

i'm saving my last goodbye for you

leave me here
sinful, fearful
whisper to me
that sweet melody
childish games
replacing love only by name

escape the cage
feel the air
heavy but free
insert my earphones
force out the voices
with beauty

Silence

try to force the words
hold tightly onto every syllable
"Everything will be OK."

a bombardment of voices
from inside
from outside
surrounded by gunfire
voices
trying to kill me
take away what's left of me

let it take me over
turn the noise into a peace
so holy one could cry
or die

my silence is killing me

do you know how it feels to be on suicide watch?
never have a moment to yourself
always fighting that imaginary villain
yielding swords and words with a vengeance yet uncaptured
knowing a single mistake could mean the end of the battle
knowing all along you'll give up in time
every soldier meets his end,
be it by blade or disease,
misfortune or fate,
every soldier meets his end
eventually

Holding

I'm holding onto something
intangible, secure
I'm holding onto something
I know that isn't true
I know that you can't save me
but to you I always cry
I want you to hold onto me
because tonight, I want to die

Ghost

There's a ghost in my dorm room
I hear her cry at night
she whispers to me as I sleep
"you'll never be alright"
I feel her holding onto me
I hear her final breath
the innocence that you stole from her
the reason for her death
she cries to me to save her
to erase that awful night
I hold her safely as she cries
it will never be alright
don't tell her that you understand
she knows that it's not true
the only thing she asks of me
she knows no one can do
there's a ghost in my dorm room
she's a rebel in the night
she tells me that it's over
No, I'll never be alright.