Sleeping - 9/19/07

Sleeping
used to be my sanctuary
but ever since our last-first kiss
I dread sleep
like waking
and dreams
like taking
that final step
quick like a band-aid
though we both know
it hurts the same

what future did we miss?
what did we expect to find
inside our first and final kiss?
I fear dreaming
cause my mind sees only you
I fear being
cause I fear that call from you
the inevitable
that hasn’t happened yet

Sleeping
was once my sanctuary
now its simply
a necessity
Holy Spirit
rescue me
bring back
my virginity

Suicide's Path - 9/17/07

7 years
of recurring scars
6 years
of missing southern stars
5 years
thinking about him
4 years
missing my favorite kin
3 years
of wondering if
2 years
fluctuating loneliness
1 year
of imaginary bliss
1 month
of planning only this
1 week
to make a dumb mistake
1 minute

and that's all it'd take