Friday, October 08, 2004

Your Nightmare - 2004 (a song)

You can’t see me
Though I show you who I am
You can’t see me
Cause you’ll never understand
You can’t see me
Through this nightmare
It’s your nightmare

Drown in your tears
Cry yourself a river
Your life is now a nightmare
And I’m gone… you’re all alone
And I’m gone… you’re still alone

You want my tears
To satisfy your need for blood
Sick surrender
Suffering dealt by your love

It’s your nightmare
My life is not my own
You control me
When I wake up in the dawn
It’s your nightmare
In the evening you will fall
‘Cause it’s your nightmare

Every time I try
Every time I cry
Every time you leave me here alone
Every time I wonder
Every time I fall
You leave me here… still alone

Just wait ‘til they find out
Are you who you’re gonna be
When they ask about the rumors
Or will you just blame me?

It’s your nightmare
My life is not my own
You control me
When I wake up in the dawn
It’s your nightmare
In the evening you will fall
‘Cause it’s your nightmare

Wishes - 2004 (?) (Writer's Club)

I wished upon a daisy’s petals
My wish did not come true
I wished upon a shooting star
A meteor was all
I wished upon a four-leaf-clover
A shamrock at its best
I wished upon a horse’s shoe
He didn’t like it much
I wished upon the lighted candles
Of my last birthday cake
Until today I feared
That all my wishes were in vain

We never saw the anger - 2004

We never saw the anger
We never saw the hurt
We never saw the saddened stares
Behind the plastic smirk
We never saw what lie beneath
Till anger and dismay
Came above the surface
And whisked you far away

Waiting for You - 2004 (?)

Little boy nine years old
Sitting by the telephone
Wondering if his daddy’s coming home

Oh Lord we need some help down here
Oh we’re crying out to you
Lord, there’s so many children dying
Lord, there’s so many mothers crying
Lord, there’s so many people waiting for You

Twelve years old and her momma’s gone
Her daddy’s mad so she can’t go home
She wonders when it all will finally end

A girl stands by the corner sign
Her clothes are way too small
Her hair is done and her make-up’s on
She’s selling herself for rent

Oh Lord we need some help down here
Oh we’re crying out to you
Lord, there’s so many children dying
Lord, there’s so many mothers crying
Lord, there’s so many people waiting for You

Lord we know You have a plan
And You’re waiting for Your time
But we need a little help to save the world

When will You come?
When will the pain be gone?
When will the Lord come again?
When will the children stop dying?
When will the mothers cease crying?
When can we stop waiting for You?

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Today I think I'm beautiful - 2004

Today I think I’m beautiful
My mirror won’t agree
Today I feel I’m wonderful
My mind won’t let me be
Although my eyes deceive me
My heart tells me no lies
Today, my love, shall I find thee
You’ll cease my lonely cries
Today I know I’ll find a peace
That my not last for long
Today, my love, is just a piece
Of life’s eternal song
I know someday that you’ll love me
My faults all put aside
When that day comes, where will I be?
Why should I run and hide?
I love you more for all your faults
Though many I don’t see
I will not stop, I will not halt
Till your love reaches me

To Live Today Without You - 2004

I’m in another place today
I’m fighting to live on
In this life that’s not my own

I’m in another world today
I’m fighting to move on
For this love does not belong

I sing another song today
I’m fighting for the words
To say that I don’t need you

Another lie is all I need
To live another day

Another chance is all I need
To show that I love you

Another voice is all I need
To let you know the pain

You left me here to die today
You never even knew
That my world revolves around

Till We Meet Again - 2004 (?)

Once you had dreams
Have you given them up?
Once I had hopes
But they grew wings and flew
Away to where you and I once were

Oh great and glorious childhood
How I wish I knew you once more
How I wish you had not gone so soon
And left me alone, with nowhere to turn

Once again I cry for you
As I have done before
I know if I could turn back time
I’d change the things that led to this
I’d block out all the pain

If only time were one great clock
I could turn back the hands
I could bring you back
I could bring “me” back
And we could have had such a joyous time

But alas there is no such clock
These hands cannot turn back time
And you have your life
And I have mine
And we have the memories
Both good and bad
To hold us together
Till we meet again

They tell me not to love you - 2004

They tell me not to love you
They tell me it is wrong
They tell me we’re too different
Our hearts sing different songs

They tell me not to love you
But to love all the rest
How can I love the simple ones
If I ignore the best?

They tell me not to love you
They say I’ll go to hell
Without your love I will not live
At the thought I’m feeling ill

They tell me not to love you
They say it is a sin
But I believe, by the grace of God,
I shall be forgiven

They tell me not to love you
But love always prevails
If we believe we are meant to be
Never will we fail

The Ugly Duck - 2004

“You’re such an ugly duckling!”
That’s what they say to me
“You’ll just account for nothing”
They warned, no thought for me
I used to listen, counteract
Their arguments with cries
That one day, someday soon
I’ll spread my wings and fly
But there’s no use in trying
They listen to me none
There’s no more use in crying
Their mind’s made up, it’s done
I missed my chance to change my tune
Conforming to the pack
I could have had it all, they say
I could have been a star
They could have made me beautiful
It wouldn’t have been hard
Some makeup here, some hair-spray there
To make me someone else
To this very day, they say
They cannot understand
Why someone sensible like me
Would choose to stay this way
I tell them now “I’m strong and free
Not bound by chains unseen”
“I could have lost it all,” I say
“I could have been a star
I could have made myself conform
I could have changed my God-given form
I could have suffered long and hard
I could have worked myself so much
I’d fall upon the ground
Instead I chose the higher road
That brought me to myself
I chose to be who I wanted to be
Who I always knew I was
(And just in case you missed the point
I’ll spell it out real slow
No matter shape or size or color
You’re beautiful as you are
The “ugly duck” is a beautiful swan
And he’s living inside you)

The Girl Inside - 2004

Trapped inside my heart
Screaming to get out
There’s someone crying out to me
A person without doubt
A person with true loveliness
A person without fear
A girl whose heart is breaking
To see the pain and tears
She screams and shouts inside of me
She bangs against the wall
She hasn’t the simple agonies
Of those we walk among
Her grief is locked up deep inside
I, only, hold the key
Yet still I always run and hide
When I hear her cry
I cannot let her out of there
For in her I confide
My most secret of afflictions
She must always stay inside
So I cannot be seen
She would show my calamities
Then the world would know the truth
This lonely girl is me

She sits in obscurity - 2004

She sits in obscurity
“No one knows the real me
No one knows the pain inside
No one sees the tears that I cry”
No one hears her
And no one knows
Of the pain she feels inside
She keeps it in
All bottled up
Until the pain draws out the knife
She slices her arm to let out a cry
A cry that no one hears
As the blood slowly drips from her face
It mixes with her tears
In a puddle of water and blood below
Her hand trembles as she places the knife
Slowly upon her skin
Slowly and surely she pulls it back down
As the blood drips to the ground
The pain on this outside
Cannot match the pain within

Rumor's Truth - 2004

Rumors, lies
deceitful truth
Gone berserk
He hides his face
Turns to the night
Truth’s been told
Now they all know
The problems faced
At daylight’s break
He cannot bear
Their questions haunting
Prodding him for truth
Untold mercies
Never shown
Truth is just
A stepping-stone
On which he rests
His restless head
Along life’s weary path
He never meant for them to know
The secrets that he never told
Now his life is on the line
All because of the rumor’s truth

The Red Ribbon - 2004

I wear a ribbon ‘round my wrist
To show my pain within
A simple cry out loud it screams
I wear it like a noose
It strangles me with every turn
My pen takes as it goes
It drips with blood deep red with pain
And brings back hidden sins
For it reminds me of the strength
I have not shown at all
It turns the tears a crimson red
As blood falls from the sky
It cries to those who do not hear
A whisper in the dark
A single life runs out of time
Because they could not see
The ribbon that I wear