Who Are You? - 2005 (?)

Who are you to tell me how to feel?
Who are you to make me hide what’s real?
Who are you to ignore all that I’ve said?
Who are you?

You think you’re something special
You think you’re really great
You think you’re so spectacular
I think I’m gonna puke

Who are you to say you are the greatest?
Who are you to run away from truth?
Who are you to leave here to wander?
Who are you?

You think that you’re God’s gift to us
You think you’ve got us fooled
You think we’ll never notice
I think that you’re the fool

Who are you to never even notice
the pain we’ve all been dealt?
Who are you to think you know the way
when you’re the one who’s lost?
Who are you to veer us from our path
when your way leads to death?
Who are you?

When every night I prayed - 2005

When every night I prayed
I prayed a prayer for you
The girl who lay there crippled
I prayed you’d take a step
The beggar on the sidewalk
I never stopped to help
“Will work for food,” your sign would read
I never helped to quench your need
Everyone I didn’t save
The witnesses I never gave
Regrets will haunt me evermore
Even now past Heaven’s door
I still pray for all of you
I wish, I only wish I knew
Back then what I know now
For surely I’d have told you how
To get to here

Wanderer - 2005 (a song)

I never saw her cry
Though pain filled her eyes
Last thing she said was “forget it
Life isn’t worth the fuss”
Worry all you want to
But now she’s gone

She’s a wanderer
Never really had a home
She’s a wanderer
She was always been alone
In a one-bedroom apartment
Where she spent her childhood
Growing up to fast and wondering
If she’d ever wander home

Chorus:
Wander home, little wanderer
Pay attention now, my dear
Though your heart be sad and lonely
We will always love you here
Wander home, little wanderer
Pay attention now, my dear
No, your pain can’t be forgotten
But we will always love you here

Her tears shroud the darkness
Through her eyes once bright and clear
Her pain can’t be forgotten
Hidden fears of yesteryear

She’s a wanderer
Crying loud to all who hear
She’s a wanderer
Wishing life would disappear
Smile for the sadness
Wandering angel tears
Light her face from Heaven up above
Chorus

The Perfect Song - 2005

I was sent on a mission
To write the perfect song
A poem without ending
So that all could sing along
Remnants of a child’s dream
Past’s forgotten name
The beauty of the ogre
They all should sound the same
A light shines through the window
With my mind’s pen in hand
I try to write a thousand words
Like tiny grains of sand
The birds give inspiration
Their songs with beauty ring
The masses laugh and scoff at them
And they refuse to sing
The picture perfect sunset
Is what I need to find
To show the little children
They will not be left behind
The song resounds like a symphony
With harmony’s finest chords
Yet utters not a syllable
And wastes not one word
Such a song should surely bring
Peace upon the earth
With every family gathering
Around its fiery hearth
Nature’s melody should ring
Out loud with every phrase
Chorus, verse, and bridge should know
The One we ought to praise
A hymn of invitation
This song should also be
Praising not the writer
Remembering only He
I haven’t the words to write this song
Nor does any other man
For the song was written long ago
Upon this weary land
Listen to the mountains
For they shall always sing
Of love and peace and harmony
All that the good Lord brings
So here I end my mission
To write the perfect song
For it was written by God alone
And lasts eternity long

Song About Me - 2005

I thought that death would save me
But now I know the truth
I thought my life would save me
But now I call on You

I don’t know how it got this way –
How I got to where I am
Life hurt so bad I wanted to die
But cry is all I’d do
The Ruler of Darkness thrived in me
As I hung my head in shame
In a life full of darkness
I hid myself in sin
My secrets lurking somewhere near
A life of worthless passing

Too much sin to be forgiven
Too many lies to be saved
Too much sorrow, too much pain
Too much hate, and too much shame

But then, my Lord, He rescued me
He saved me from my sin
My secret wonders and my shame
From the darkness of my heart
In the passion of Your love
The reality of Your life
In You alone I live in full
Apart from You, I’m nothing
The road I walk is clearly paved
With safety in Your arms

The Light abides within the darkness
The truest Light of all
Lifting up my hands with praise
My story never ends

Silence in the hallway - 2005

Silence in the hallway
Footsteps down the stairs
Sneaking out at midnight
No one knows she’s there

“Listen to me, won’t you!”
I scream to deafened ears
All alone I’m crying
These unshedable tears

Lost in circumstances
Unseen in her youth
Never saw me crying
“I still love you”

Alone in pain and silence
I cry, “I need you, please!”
No one knows the difference
As I fall down on my knees

My God, just where were you
When she held that knife in hand?
Where were you when we
Vowed our friendship in the sands?

Where were you when bloodshed
Took over both our lives?
Where were you the night I cried
And begged you for her life?

Why did she leave, dear God?
Why’d she cause such pain?
Why couldn’t I stop her, Lord?
Instead of standing in the rain

I watched her leave in silence
She never knew my tears
God whispers in the darkness
“I’ve always been right here”

Outside of Myself - 2005

I am not myself today, I fear
I've lost myself in time
I cannot see. I cannot hear
Yet terror brings me home
I float in clouds I cannot see
My brain is numb and I,
I do not wish that I could be
With you again, my dear
My dear, sweet home is calling me
To come back where I lie
So many times before thee
And stretched out another hand

Only In A Dream - 2005 (edited from 2003 version)

You held me when I cried
You kissed away my tears
You watched me as I passed you by
You conquered all my fears
You loved me once, you told no lies
But only in a dream
Only in a dream
A moment – fleeting – passed
How I wished that it would last!